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Monthly Archives: June 2017

Tips to Getting Back Your Ex

Cutting off All Contact

Many people think that showering their ex with affection and attention is the way to win back their heart. This is so wrong. Actually you need to break off the contact for a period of a month. Give him or her some room to deal with everything going on in their life. They need some time to miss you which also gives you time to focus on you.

Don’t Sit Around

The worst thing you can do is lay about. Instead get up and take some action. If you want your ex back, you can’t do it from your couch. You have to fix the issues that plagued your relationship and the couch isn’t made for fixing your problems. Only you can do this.

Seek Out Loved Ones

Get together with people who care about you whether this is your family or your friends or even both. Spend as much time with them as you can. Their support can build up your emotional needs and give you power to face what has just occurred. You don’t want to turn to them for all your depressing needs. People can only take so much misery.

Fix Your Appearance

Try to remember that life does go on. For that reason, look your best as often as you can. Don’t sit idly by watching life go on without you. Think about the things you can do for yourself that can make you feel better. If that means getting a new hairdo, do it. Once, you have done this… get out there and party even if you don’t feel like it. The attention you get from others can help boost your own confidence and self worth. It may even spark some jealousy in your ex if he or she sees you acting happy.

Change Your Attitude

Only you, not your ex, can change what you find wrong inside. If you have to change your personality to win him or her back, then do it. Remember that if nothing has been changed, your relationship is unlikely to work out the second go around. These changes will need to be permanent too.

Work on Your Relationship

Even if you got that second chance you wanted, you have to work on your relationship to see it through. Those things that plagued the relationship the first go will have to be gone the second time around. While most issues can be seen, others are still hidden. You and your ex will have to support one another to get back together if you want to make the second chance to work.

 

Unhealthy Relationship Signs

The same goes for some relationships. We have all heard the stories or known someone who enjoyed dating the wild woman or the bad boy. The great actor Rod Steiger told the story about how when he was in the Navy, he and a buddy would play a game with the ladies in the clubs. Steiger would walk up to a woman point to his buddy standing at the bar and warn her not to mess with that guy because he was dangerous. He said not more than five minutes later the woman would be dancing with his buddy. Apparently Steiger’s friend also returned the favor.

That’s all well and good but right now you have got a decision to make. The person you are currently dating has a temper. We are not talking a little irritation now and then. No it’s the real deal and when they lose it, look out.

To be fair they have never directed it towards you. Any arguments or disagreements they have handled pretty well. In fact it was you who on occasion got more upset than they did. Nothing off the charts but your dating partner wound up being the calm one.

But you have seen them go. You always told yourself that their anger was justified. That is possible but it is hard to rationalize out of control anger. Sure they calm down and apologize (sometimes) but the truth is you are living in the middle of a storm. There are a couple of things to look for.

1. Frequency

Is it one of those once in a blue moon deals or does it happen more often than you want to admit to yourself?

2. Intensity

Does it come out in the form of verbal abuse or do they get physical. Physical does not necessarily mean you have to stop them from getting into a fight. It could mean slamming doors, kicking walls or throwing objects at no one in particular. When they do go off is it a combination of physical and verbal?

3. How Long

Their anger may be like one of those summer storms: quick, intense and then it’s over. Or it could be one that takes awhile to subside. Naturally you want it to be over with as soon as possible but either one can be scary.

4. The Aftermath

Do they get apologetic or do they sit and stew about what just happened. They are not so much thinking what they did wrong as how they were wronged. You also have to keep your eye on the way they apologize. Sometimes it’s more defensive than sincere.

Everybody blows their cool now and then. It’s part of being human. However exploding into a rage on a regular basis is cause for concern. You may like your dating partner but watching them go over the edge once too often may be giving you more danger than you really want to bargain for.

 

Tips to Find the Right Partner to Get Married

One can take the opportunity of courtship period to determine if the prospective life partner is right for you or not. Be it online matrimony or marriage arranged through an acquaintance, it is absolutely essential to establish the compatibility between the would-be bride and the groom.

Compatibility does not mean how much you have in common. In fact, at times people with polar attitudes and extremely opposite likes and dislikes make very happily married couples. Compatibility in matrimony suggests how much you can remain in harmony despite being as different as you are. Respecting each other and how the other person make you feel in different situations should be taken into consideration before taking the final plunge into a matrimonial relationship.

Sometimes, it is easier to know what you don’t want in a matrimonial relationship that what you want. For example, one can easily say that one doesn’t want to marry someone who drinks too much, uses drugs, indulges in illegal behaviour, or is unfaithful, irresponsible, or dishonest. But it Is not easy to say what one really wants and what will make marriage a truly happy lifetime experience.

Don’t jump into a decision before giving it considerable thought and evaluating all aspects of the situation. Marriage does not just mean filling a void, it means spending your whole life with someone worthwhile and the one who makes you feel great. Matrimonials generally talk about the clich�d attributes of a person. However, the real success of marriage depends on what lies behind those words.

While physical attraction is a must, it should not become a blinding factor or the most overriding factor. It must be remembered that physical attraction subsides very quickly while what remains is the real persona of the person in a matrimonial relationship. Open communication, sense of humour, respect for each other, giving each other space is what really matters in marriage. These are the factors that make a marriage last.

Having said this, it is also true that some degree of attraction is must for a relationship to last. If you do not find the person attractive at all, it would be foolish to force it. Don’t take a hasty decision and try to find out more about the person. It is important to know how he/she handles a crisis situation or how the person behaves with you after you do a mistake to establish how your matrimonial relationship will look like. Some people even advise that it should be observed how a girl behaves with her dad and a boy behaves with his mother to have an idea of how he/she will behave with you in life.

If you start feeling that there can be sustainable trust, confidence in each other and respect as life partners, then you are on the right track to find the right person to get married to. Only such a person can bring emotional sustainability and personal strength to your life. Obviously, the right person would never let you down or make you feel negative, embarrassed or disrespected. It is not necessary to agree to everything with each other but it is important to respectfully agree to disagree. The right person will give you your space, give you the liberty to take decisions, encourage you to be in control of your life. Once you can establish that these are the things your partner I swilling to offer you in matrimony, you can be sure you have found the right person.

While all these are personality traits, it is also important to find out that the person you are marrying is considerate and agreeable to what you want and desire when it comes to sex and affection. Sexual compatibility is as important to marital happiness as any other thing.

Once you are sure about all the things and decide to get married, be ready to nurture your relationship with love and care. There will always be difficulties in the matrimonial path but that should not deter you from looking at the overall goodness of your relationship. Finding the right person is important but equally important is developing the right attitude to sustain a healthy and successful matrimonial relationship.